Sunday, April 17, 2011


No, this post isn't about my life.  Not really.  It's about life.  Living.  Being.
Today, during our service projects, I sat and really looked at people.  I looked into their faces when they spoke.  I watched them as they ate.  Noticing how very different each person was, and I cried.  I cried because it hit me so hard that human beings in general are amazing, and despite their somewhat horrible habits (we all have them, even me), we are trying to be good.  Generally, we seek good.  But what REALLY got to me today was looking at the faces of the children I brought into this world.  Three of them so far.  Three distinct personalities.  Three sets of ideas, that don't mirror my own (if they did, we'd get along better, ha ha).  But I adore them.

I had a woman at the grocery store (the clerk actually) who was in her late 60's, maybe 70's ask me what it was like to have children.  She confessed to me she'd wanted them when she was younger, but then when she got older and had the chance, she'd changed her mind...didn't want to do THAT.   She wanted to know if the love of a mother was really stronger than the love of a stranger.  I told her it was, and I cried for her.  And then I went and joked with and loved on my children, grateful that I'd had the opportunity to know how strong the love of a mother could be.  Grateful that I knew that my children were not only mine, but distinct individuals brought to earth by me, for God.  Individuals, just like all of the people who I had talked to and watched during the day. 

Is it easy?  No.  Life is complex.  Raising children isn't simple, no matter how hard I try to make it that way.  Each of them is different, each of them perfect in their own way.  So, even when they are fighting over dollies like they are right now, I still am smiling and thankful they are here.  Learning how to be people, and hopefully, learning that being mommy is so worth it.

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